Caring for someone with dementia brings many meaningful moments, but it also comes with unexpected challenges. Dementia changes how a person understands and experiences the world, often making everyday situations confusing or even frightening.
One of the most difficult challenges caregivers face is agitation. A loved one may suddenly become restless, irritable, or anxious, leaving families unsure how to respond and worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.
Understanding why agitation occurs and knowing how to respond can help transform stressful moments into opportunities for comfort and connection. This article offers practical tips to help calm a loved one with dementia and ease agitation.
What Causes Agitation in a Person with Dementia?
Agitation in people with dementia often stems from confusion, discomfort, or emotional distress rather than intentional behavior. As the condition affects memory, communication, and understanding, even simple situations can become overwhelming or frightening.
When individuals cannot clearly express their needs or understand what is happening around them, agitation may surface as restlessness, irritability, or anxiety. Recognizing potential triggers can help caregivers respond more effectively and prevent distress from escalating.
Common causes of agitation include:
- Confusion due to memory loss or difficulty understanding surroundings.
- Changes in routine or unfamiliar environments that create insecurity or fear.
- Physical discomfort such as pain, hunger, thirst, fatigue, or illness.
- Medication side effects or untreated medical conditions, including infections.
- Overstimulation from noise, crowds, or busy surroundings.
- Difficulty communicating needs, leading to frustration.
- Feelings of loneliness, boredom, or emotional distress.
- Loss of independence or frustration when daily tasks become challenging.
- Being rushed, corrected, or pressured during activities.
- Poor sleep or disrupted sleep patterns, including sundowning, where confusion and agitation increase during late afternoon or evening hours.
Tips to Calm Agitation in a Loved One with Dementia
Here are some practical tips to help you cope with your loved one’s agitation and calm them down.
Understand the Cause Behind the Behavior
As a caregiver, one of the most helpful things you can do when a loved one becomes agitated is to go beyond the behavior and try to figure out what’s causing it. Agitation in dementia is generally a result of confusion, anxiety, pain, or an unmet need, rather than deliberate resistance. Your loved one may be uncomfortable, hungry, exhausted, or scared, but they may not be able to express their needs.
Pay attention to recent events or changes in routine. Did something noisy or unfamiliar happen? Are they being rushed through a task? Are they showing signs of physical discomfort? By identifying triggers early and responding to them calmly, you can often prevent agitation from escalating and help your loved one feel safe again.
Pause, Connect, and Gently Redirect
When agitation begins, pause and slow your pace instead of pushing forward with the task at hand. Even if your loved one’s words seem confusing, listen with patience rather than correcting them, as correction can increase frustration. Take a moment to ground yourself and recall a warm memory you share, allowing that calm and affection to guide your response.
Offer your full attention, maintain a gentle expression, and ask for cooperation in a respectful way. Supportive phrases like “Can I help you with this?” or “Would you like to go on a short walk with me?” often feel less threatening and can smoothly guide the situation toward calm.
An individual with dementia may get overwhelmed by excessive stimulation or frustration. Instead of jumping in with more ideas or words, take a pause. Silence offers your loved one time to think about what they are attempting to communicate.
Stay Calm and Offer Reassurance
Your emotional response significantly impacts someone with dementia. When you remain calm and speak gently, you help alleviate anxiety and confusion. Even if your loved one appears agitated or angry, avoid arguing or reacting emotionally. Instead, provide simple reassurance and let them know they are safe.
Use short, comforting phrases and maintain gentle eye contact. Sitting quietly next to them or delivering a comforting smile might sometimes be more effective than detailed explanations. When caregivers remain patient and supportive, stressful moments often settle more quickly.
Offer Respect and Validation
Always be respectful to your loved one. These emotions can foster productive communication with a dementia patient. Although you may notice behaviors similar to those of a child, remember that your loved one is not a child. Protecting their dignity will prevent negative feelings that cause anxiety.
Instead of correcting or dismissing their concerns, try validating their feelings with reassuring responses such as, “I can see that this is upsetting,” or “I’m here to help.” Listening patiently and responding with kindness will help your loved one feel heard and respected. Prioritizing emotional comfort over factual accuracy often leads to calmer interactions and fosters trust and connection in challenging situations.
Reduce Environmental Stress
Dementia damages the brain, making it difficult to communicate thoughts and perform tasks. Lights, crowds, congestion, and background noise can all overstimulate the brain. Feelings of restlessness may arise from overstimulation, as individuals with dementia can feel overwhelmed in busy, noisy, or unfamiliar environments.
You can help reduce agitation by creating a calm and predictable space. Loud televisions, crowded rooms, clutter, or sudden activity can all exacerbate anxiety. Try lowering background noise, improving lighting to reduce shadows, and keeping familiar items within view. A quiet, well-lit, and comfortable environment helps your loved one feel secure and reduces confusion that may lead to agitation.
Use Gentle Distraction
Distraction is often one of the most effective methods to reduce agitation without provoking conflict. When your loved one becomes agitated, gently direct their attention to something soothing or familiar rather than correcting them or focusing on the problem.
You could recommend going outside for some fresh air, folding laundry together, browsing through family photos, or listening to favorite music. Familiar activities can bring comfort and help shift their focus away from distress. Keeping a few go-to calming activities ready can make these moments easier to manage.
Avoid Arguing or Correcting
It can be tempting to correct misunderstandings, but arguing with someone who has dementia often increases frustration and anxiety. Your loved one’s experience feels real to them, even if it doesn’t match reality.
Instead of correcting, try validating their feelings and gently redirecting the conversation. Saying, “That sounds upsetting, let’s see how we can fix it,” helps them feel understood. Choosing empathy over correction can quickly ease tension and prevent agitation from worsening.
Use Comforting Physical Contact
Gentle physical contact offers mental comfort and reassurance to many people. When words are insufficient to calm fear or anxiety, holding hands, giving a soft hug, or gently touching a shoulder can help.
However, everyone reacts differently to touch, particularly as dementia advances. Watch for signs that your loved one is uncomfortable, and respect their preferences. When welcomed, simple physical reassurance can help them feel supported and less alone.
Maintain Consistent Routines
People with dementia often feel more stable when they follow a routine. Maintaining regular daily routines can help your loved one feel less confused and anxious since they know what to expect.
Establishing consistent mealtimes, bedtimes, and daily routines fosters familiarity and comfort. When changes are unavoidable, try to introduce them gradually and provide reassurance. Predictability helps to alleviate agitation and makes daily life less stressful.
Watch for Physical Needs
Agitation can be your loved one’s way of communicating when anything is physically wrong. Pain, hunger, thirst, fatigue, constipation, or the need to use the bathroom can all cause agitation or irritability, particularly when communication is difficult.
Infections or medication side effects might sometimes result in abrupt behavioral changes. If agitation worsens or appears suddenly, it may be helpful to consult a healthcare professional. Staying alert to physical needs helps prevent repeated episodes of distress.
Alzheimer’s Research Association is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping caregivers of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. We provide the latest information and news about the illness and helpful tips to help caregivers cope with their daily caregiving challenges. We realize the most important thing that a caregiver needs is financial assistance. Therefore, we provide grants to caregivers to ease their financial burden. Caregivers can apply for grants here: Alzheimer’s Grant Application.
You can also help caregivers in their endeavor by donating as much as possible: Donation To Alzheimer’s Research Associations.
References
- 10 Ways to Calm Agitation in a Person Living With Dementia. The Key. https://thekey.com/learning-center/10-ways-to-calm-agitation-in-a-person-living-with-dementia. Published Online: 9th March, 2022. Accessed: 12th February, 2026.
- Anxiety and Agitation. Alzheimer’s Association. https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/anxiety-agitation. Accessed: 12th February, 2026.
- Coping With Agitation, Aggression, and Sundowning in Alzheimer’s Disease. National Institute on Aging. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers-changes-behavior-and-communication/coping-agitation-aggression-and-sundowning. Updated: 17th July, 2024. Accessed: 12th February, 2026.
- 10 ways to calm an agitated dementia patient. The Orders of St John Care Trust. https://www.osjct.co.uk/help-advice/guides/10-ways-calm-agitated-dementia-patient. Accessed: 12th February, 2026.
- How to Handle Agitation in a Loved One with Dementia. Silverado. https://www.silverado.com/caregiver-and-family-resources/how-to-handle-agitation-in-a-loved-one-with-dementia/. Published Online: 10th January, 2025. Accessed: 12th February, 2026.
